It seems there are quite a few Christians who occasionally claim that one must absolutely never divorce except for reasons of sexual immorality (adultery). But is that really the case? When examined scripturally, there is no need to tamely accept and endure such harsh abuse. Rather, it is proven by the Law that domestic violence, including mental and physical neglect, constitutes a major ground for divorce.
Mental and Physical Abuse is a Sin and Will Be Judged
Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Psalm 11:5 The Lord tests the righteous, But the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates. 6 Upon the wicked He will rain coals; Fire and brimstone and a burning wind Shall be the portion of their cup. 7 For the Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness; His countenance beholds the upright.
Psalm 73:6 Therefore pride serves as their necklace; Violence covers them like a garment. 7 Their eyes bulge with abundance; They have more than heart could wish.
Proverbs 6:12 A worthless person, a wicked man, Walks with a perverse mouth; 13 He winks with his eyes, He shuffles his feet, He points with his fingers; 14 Perversity is in his heart, He devises evil continually, He sows discord. 16 These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.
Proverbs 16:5 Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord; Though they join forces, none will go unpunished. 27
A ungodly man digs up evil, And it is on his lips like a burning fire. 28 A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.
29 A violent man entices his neighbor, And leads him in a way that is not good. 30 He winks his eye to devise perverse things; He compresses his lips as if he had completed evil.
Proverbs 26:18 Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, 19 Is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, “I was only joking!” 24 He who hates, disguises it with his lips, And lays up deceit within himself; 25 When he speaks kindly, do not believe him, For there are seven abominations in his heart; 26 Though his hatred is covered by deceit, His wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.
Isaiah 58:4 Indeed you fast for strife and debate, And to strike with the fist of wickedness. You will not fast as you do this day, To make your voice heard on high.
Malachi 2:16 “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
Matthew 5:22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.
One Should Separate From Unrepentant People
Psalm 141:4 Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, To practice wicked works With men who work iniquity; And do not let me eat of their delicacies. 9 Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, And from the traps of the workers of iniquity. 10 Let the wicked fall into their own nets, While I escape safely.
Proverbs 14:7 Go from the presence of a foolish man, When you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge.
Proverbs 27:12 A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself; The simple pass on and are punished.
Matthew 2:13 Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.” 14 When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt,
Matthew 10:23 When they persecute you in this city, flee to another. For assuredly, I say to you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes.
Matthew 18:15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. 12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”
Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.
2 Timothy 3:2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
Under the Law of ancient Israel, obedience was required toward the God-anointed king and the royal institution. However, in 1 Samuel chapters 18 through 30, David fled from King Saul's murderous attacks driven by jealousy. Yahuwah did not force an impossible situation on anyone, demanding that they tamely continue to endure abuse just because it came from an anointed king.
In 1 Samuel chapter 25, we find the account of Abigail, who was not treated well by her husband Nabal. Because Nabal acted stubbornly and miserly, David intended to kill him and his men. However, Abigail took the initiative, circumvented Nabal, managed the situation wisely, and protected her household.
Abigail did not blindly submit to Nabal or act solely under his instructions; instead, she took independent, proactive action to protect the servants. Furthermore, she openly described Nabal as a wicked, foolish, and ill-tempered man, while spiritually discerning that David was the king anointed by God.
Ultimately, by the judgment of Yahuwah, the stubborn Nabal struck dead, and Abigail became David's wife and was blessed. This serves as a prophetic prototype of how Jesus protects women who are suffering from mental and physical abuse during the Great Tribulation.
Conditions for Divorce in the Old and New Testaments
According to Matthew 5:32, it is understood that sexual immorality can be a cause for divorce. If we examine 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, it states that a divorce is also valid if an unbelieving spouse departs by their own choice. However, some people misinterpret Jesus' words to mean that sexual immorality is the only valid reason for divorce in the New Testament. As a result, there may be women forced into a state of confinement—akin to living in some cult commune—believing that no matter what is done to them, they cannot complain or leave, and must stay with their husbands even when subjected to severe mental and physical abuse.
In particular, looking at the context of the lesson in Matthew 5, even harboring lustful thoughts in one's heart is defined as adultery. Thus, it convicts all humans equally as sinners, breaking down the pride of the Pharisees by showing that everyone has committed adultery. The Pharisees attempted to exploit a legal loophole, thinking that as long as they divorced before remarrying, it wouldn't count as adultery. But Jesus condemned this.
There are undoubtedly people who have remarried multiple times before coming to know Christ. There is no need for such individuals to execute extreme measures, such as forcing a separation from their current spouse to return to their first one under the assumption that they are locked in the sin of "adultery." The Samaritan woman had a history of five marriages, and she was living with a man at the time she met Jesus. Even so, Jesus did not condemn the Samaritan woman (John 4:18).
The core point of Jesus' teaching is that we are all sinners, and it is through Jesus' atonement that the forgiveness of sins becomes effective and the Law is established. Therefore, His point is: acknowledge that everyone shares the guilt of "adultery" and remain humble!
First of all, the Law of Christ in the New Testament captures the true intent of the Mosaic Law of the Old Testament era and brings it to its proper fulfillment. Furthermore, because there were too many wicked-hearted people among the public who tried to catch Him in His words to find fault, and men who trivialized divorce to disregard the rights of women, Jesus spoke strictly to those men. His intent was to admonish the male side "to protect the rights of women," telling them not to divorce easily unless there was a case of infidelity.
Under the Mosaic Law, even a foreign woman taken captive could leave freely if she was denied her basic necessities or subjected to mental and physical neglect or abuse.
Exodus 21:7 “And if a man sells his daughter to be a female slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. 8 If she does not please her master, who has betrothed her to himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has dealt deceitfully with her. 9 And if he has betrothed her to his son, he shall deal with her according to the custom of daughters. 10 If he takes another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, and her marriage rights. 11 And if he does not do these three things for her, then she shall go out free, without paying money.
Deuteronomy 21:10 “When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God delivers them into your hand, and you take them captive, 11 and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and desire her and would take her for your wife, 12 then you shall bring her home to your house, and she shall shave her head and trim her nails. 13 She shall put off the clothes of her captivity, remain in your house, and mourn her father and her mother a full month; after that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. 14 And it shall be, if you have no delight in her, then you shall treat her as a free woman and let her go. But you shall not sell her at all for money; you shall not treat her as a slave, because you have humbled her.
Many Christians quote Malachi 2:10-16 to argue that divorce is impermissible. However, this passage simply condemns the practice of men divorcing their pure, devoted Israeli wives in order to marry foreign women who worship idols. As confirmed in Ezra chapter 9, there were cases where divorce was carried out precisely to prevent Israel from falling into apostasy through marriage to pagan idolaters.
Divorce is a case-by-case matter, and there are times when it cannot be helped. In particular, being forced to spend your days in a tragic situation of mental and physical neglect like Nabal's—where your very life is in jeopardy—is not a marriage at all. It is merely criminal confinement, and the perpetrator is nothing less than a target of Yahuwah's destructive judgment. In Luke 6:1-5, when the Pharisees accused the disciples of violating the Law for plucking and eating heads of grain on the Sabbath, Jesus replied to them: “Have you not even read this, what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: how he went into the house of god, took and ate the showbread, and also gave some to those with him, which it is not lawful for any but the priests to eat?” Furthermore, in Luke 13:10-17, when He healed a woman with a bent back on the Sabbath, He replied: “Hypocrite! Does not each one of you on the Sabbath loose his ox or donkey from the stall, and lead it away to water it? So ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has bound—think of it—for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath?”
In other words, His message was that in cases that "violate the rules," human life must take priority. Becoming rigid and stubborn, continuing a marriage with a toxic man, living in confinement, and whittling away your own life does not align with the words of Jesus.
1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
As this scripture shows, if a person has the ability to work but instead drinks during the day and subjects their family to mental and physical neglect, the marriage is effectively over. Even if you overprotectively pamper such a person and continue to live together, the perpetrator will ultimately be completely judged and wiped away by God on the day of judgment. It is only a matter of time before that marriage comes to an end.
Is Remarriage Acceptable?
If we examine Deuteronomy 24:1-4, it states that if a husband divorces his first wife, they should not remarry each other after she has been married to another. However, there is no restriction binding the woman from remarrying someone else; it clearly states that remarriage is possible. Therefore, remarrying someone other than the first spouse is permissible.
Furthermore, in Hosea chapter 3, Yahuwah commands Hosea to take back his wife who had committed adultery. The point is that even things that appear to be violations of the Law can be permitted under certain circumstances. Rigid thinkers might believe that even if they are abused or denied living expenses, they cannot separate from their husband or remarry after a divorce. However, one must keep in mind that flexible options are provided, and mistakes can be covered through Christ's atonement.
1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
As this scripture indicates, a marriage functions properly when both a man and a woman share themselves mentally and physically, fulfilling their marital duties to one another. You cannot "reconcile" with someone who ignores this principle and refuses to correct their mental and physical neglect; such a person becomes a persecutor. Therefore, as shown above, in line with God's teaching to "flee from persecutors," this can certainly be a ground for divorce, and one will not be condemned for it. However, the Corinthians were people who indulged in immorality—to the extent that someone even had a relationship with his stepmother. That is why Paul gave strict advice, saying, "Do not easily separate, but reconcile and do not leave each other. If you cannot do that because your sexual desire is strong and you lack self-control, then do not marry at all, because it is obvious you will fail next time too."
Even if you whittle away your life trying to maintain a marriage with an irreconcilable spouse who subjects you to extreme verbal abuse or mental and physical neglect, it is clear that on the day of God's judgment, the man will be judged and wiped away like Nabal for violating the commandment to "love your neighbor." Only the wife will be saved, and the marriage will inevitably reach its end.
There is nothing sinful about quickly separating from a mental and physical abuser and remarrying. It's just that Paul's words emphasize highly practical advice to be extremely cautious for those who, like the members of the Corinthian church, struggle with strong desires.
*Note: Most of the so-called Christian jocks, Freemasons Jehovah’s Witnesses out there lack the reading comprehension skills to grasp the intended meaning of a text, so they’re genuinely convinced that divorce is forbidden.
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